Wednesday, February 16, 2011


O dear internet, who could I whinge to if not thee?

One woman who previously had some potential gets a nickname here, the Lecturer.

Sunday night I got an extensive lecture via OKCupid IM about what's wrong with my attitude towards porn. Tonight I got an extensive lecture via OKCupid IM about how the idea I would not object if my wife circulated nude photos of herself for men to masturbate to*, plus the fact I like to come in a woman's face**, means I don't value women. Failing to object to the photos means I want a whore not a wife (her words). Basically apparently if I treat her like she has her own mind and may make her own decisions means I don't value her (like I would a valuable object). Longtime readers know that my real problem is that I don't value women. Right.

This is definitely not going to work with the Lecturer. She is arrogant and doesn't know it because she believes her opinions come from the clear word of the Bible, without her interpreting them.

*Actually this isn't really true, now that I have more time to think about it, I would object.

**For those who are not longtime readers I'm really into having my face smeared with a woman's juice in an analgous way. And the Lecturer knew that but forgot or ignored it or something.


  1. "Whore not a wife"? Jesus.

    Asehpe and I were having a whole conversation about this actually: how an individual action (like coming on someone's face) can seem degrading in one context, but in a completely different context be an expression of love. We were talking about radfems and objectification, but still. So if everyone involved interprets facials as not whorish, then guess what? They aren't, and you end up doing mental contortions if you think otherwise.

    Besides, unless someone's getting charged money, I think the word she was looking for was "slut."

  2. "Wife" and "whore" are the only two options to her. Gah. The whole thing hurt me more than it should have. I've got to learn to take this stuff better (as well as, of course, not taking it from her any more).

  3. Yeah. Don't take internet peoples so seriously. And don't worry about the judgment of others. For instance I like to bang Penny hard and brag about it on the internet. I would wager there's a very wide swath of the population that would perceive that as disrespectful. But she likes it. There's a pretty big demographic that would think bad things of her because of that. You know what? Fuck 'em. You very simply cannot live up to everyone's standards much less simultaneously do what it right for you. I'd be willing to wager that your personal standards don't perfectly align with mine (though you might be surprised how close they actually are). And you know what else? Even if it sounds like The Lecturer showed promise in the first place you just found out you aren't compatible. Don't mourn the loss rather thank God you didn't realize your incompatibility after ten years of marriage and two kids. Always count your blessings my friend.

  4. Thanks Clint!

    I'd be willing to wager that your personal standards don't perfectly align with mine (though you might be surprised how close they actually are).

    I don't think I'd be too surprised. We're not into all the same stuff but it doesn't reflect a difference in personal standards. Now if Penny really did get you another girl, that would be a difference in standards. But Rook would love to do that for her husband the Progressive Gun Fan, and I don't have a problem with that.

    BTW, everything you say about Penny makes me respect her more, not less.

  5. Yeow. Anyone who would say that crap that way to another person they claimed to at least like would do it to someone they felt more intimately comfortable with, and far worse.

    Bullet dodged. Let her inflict herself on someone else.

  6. I'm beginning to realize that I'm going to be meeting a lot of people who are single for good reasons.

  7. Congratulations! I just nominated you for the Stylish Blogger Award 2011. For details please see the link below.

  8. Thank you so much Ginger! Being a giant geek I was following the chain of awards backwards to try to find out the origin of this but eventually I gave up somewhere in the blogs about interior design with repurposed objects. The rules are kind of mutating though; further back in the chain it's just tell seven things, not seven things no one knows about you, and award it to fifteen other blogs.

  9. Boy, am I happy she happened to say those things *out loud*.

    I really hate it when people just go and decide what something means, even though it's hypothetical or taken out of context. Putting your cock in a woman's vagina might be degrading, too, it might even make her a "whore", if you paid her first, but if my husband gave me money for a taxi, food or bills and then fucked me... Well, context is everything, isn't it?

  10. Now I'm happy she said them out loud too! Though before I considered them a complete dismissal of me as potential husband (looking for a whore who I resent). So I would have said it was simply expressing the end of the relationship.

    The really surprising thing to me is that she contacted me again, she was apparently not aware that I would take these comments as an insult.