Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas to everybody who celebrates it! And happy December 25th to everyone who doesn't!

For fans of androgynous guys

Happened to come across this, sorry for the "bizarre" tag but I think the pictures are nice for fans of androgynous guys: http://xaxor.com/bizarre/male-models-looking-like-women.html#6858

Keeping very busy with nice things

I'm keeping very busy with nice things.  Work, dance classes, social stuff with friends.

I've been spending a lot of time writing, because when I meet someone nice through OKCupid or something I like to try to stay friends with them even if we don't think romance is an option.  As people have been added to that list I've ended up with a bunch of emails to write daily.

No dates so far, though.  My OKC profile is pretty open and I'm a peculiar guy, definitely not for everyone, so this is unsurprising.  Also, I'm kind of picky, and intend to stay that way.

More on the Murre theme.

Saturday night, at my usual steampunk/neovictorian event (unnamed this time because it occurred to me I don't want to appear on a Google search for that), I was talking with one of the vendors for a while.  She was telling me about some performance in Boston she attended where they ripped up a Bible, with the obvious expectation I would approve.

Next morning in church I was telling my pastor how I go to a regular costume event where people wear neovictorian clothing, and he was telling me how weird I was.  But, he said, it's what makes me me, so it's OK.  Later I was arguing with one of my Christian friends about referring to a trans woman as she when she's not there to hear it, me taking the "call her what she wants" approach and him taking the "wrong genitals" approach.

Sometimes I really do feel like an alien everywhere.  As a Christian though, I should be expecting that.  In the end, this world is not my home.

To be fair, I spend most of Saturday night hanging out with two pleasant, nice, beautiful, (married,) belly dancers, one of whom is an Christian.  So that was a very nice evening, and I expect we will continue being friends in the future.  And Sunday, another of my Christian friends was agreeing with me about the use the pronoun the person referred to prefers.  I really shouldn't complain.  It just seems like there have been a whole lot of these episodes recently, like every time I go to a steampunk event.

Also a confession: Saturday night, the vendor had a cold and packed up early, but when she packed up I was enjoying myself chatting with the belly-dancers and it didn't even occur to me that I should have offered to help her schlep her stuff to her car.  It probably would have if I were feeling warmer towards her, which I would have been if not for the Bible-ripping comment.

I love this video

I love this song, and the video even more:


Sia - Clap Your Hands

Sia, unusually, does not seem to care much about coming across as pretty or sexy in her videos, which is especially noticeable in Buttons.

Happy Easter!

Happy Easter to everyone who celebrates Easter, and happy April 8th to everyone who doesn't!

DJ Steve Porter techno remix of Henry Rollins anti-techno rant.

New favorite video: the Steve Porter techno remix of a Henry Rollins rant against techno. Featuring clips of the Techno Viking, who dances rather like I imagine I do.



Gently are you revenged, Mr. Porter.

Republished at Role/Reboot

I rewrote my post My line and perceptions of the availability of sex and it was published over at Role/Reboot as Male kindness isn't always a mask for desire!

Small world.

The Internet is definitely making the world smaller. One of the acts I most enjoyed at Wicked Faire was Coveilance Dance Project, a creative bellydancing troupe; they did one number to dubstep that I particularly enjoyed. So I looked up Coveilance on YouTube, and one of the first things I found was a video of that number with the back of my head in the way. (I'm the brunette not the blonde.)

Fishing for name suggestions again.

So, I don't really want to keep going by the old name, because I'm trying to make various web identities a little harder to associate. But people LIKE the old name, and AndrewVanbergen isn't catching on so well.

I didn't get any feedback on Megatherium. It begins with M, too, which is good; though I don't really like the "Mega" beginning, sounds a little too much along the "XTREME" lines. Here are some other ideas, perhaps even geekier:

Glyptodon, for similar reasons. And it's another xenarthran! Yes, I am a paleontology geek.

Therizinosaurus: Another giant-clawed semi-herbivore, this time a dinosaur, sometimes theorized as similar to Megatherium in lifestyle.

Opabinia: One of my favorites ever, it had five eyes on stalks and a sort of a trunk or flexible proboscis with a claw on the end and a set of sort of leafy fins along the sides to swim with and is probably sort of related to the arthropods and sort of to the velvet worms but is not really all that close to anything as normal as a bug. And I do tend to feel anything but normal, whether as a churchgoer at Wicked Faire or a Wicked Faire-goer at church.

Among more modern animals, there's the Pangolin. It's a scaly anteater than can hang from trees by its tail. Like everything on the list, it tickles my appreciation of the odd. (Manis crassicaudata? Kind of long and awkward.)

Then there's the Auk. Auks are one of the groups of birds that can walk, swim, and fly. I rather like the "many worlds" symbolism. One group of auks is the Murres, which begins with M like my old name.

Anyone have any thoughts?

I don't hate getting the Frederick's of Hollywood catalog anymore.

I don't hate getting the Frederick's of Hollywood catalog anymore. For a long time I hated getting it, because it reminded me that I was now alone; for a long time before that I hated getting it, because it reminded me of the box of lingerie that my now-ex had worn one or twice. Now, I don't care.

Eventually, I'll get around to emailing all the companies that send women's clothing catalogs here and tell them to stop. I get a lot more of them than men's clothing catalogs.

SOPA/PIPA protest post.

Name Thrash

So, I'm pondering another name change. AndrewVanbergen was something I came up with on the spur of the moment just because I wanted different names on my different accounts. Now I'm thinking MrMegatherium. Because in a world full of people trying to sort themselves into Alpha Wolf: "type A", "Dominant", "leader" and Omega Wolf: "type B", "submissive", "follower", Megatherium is what I feel like.

Comments? Suggestions?

Also, at least one person is having trouble posting comments. Anyone else having trouble? If so, please email me at mousie seven six two at gmail dot com.

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Note: the "alpha-omega" thing seems to give hives to people who know what wolf pack structure is like.

Request for encouragement and/or prayer

At this point, I'm feeling a little angry and betrayed by the way my ex treated me. A few days before I looked her up on FetLife, I was dropping off something she wanted from the house. She said she'd be there all day, then when I asked if she'd like to have lunch with me, she said she was going to visit family that afternoon. She mentioned that maybe she'd like to have lunch with me two weekends later, if she wasn't needed for some moonlighting work. Those struck me as so much of her pattern; you are very important to me, maybe I will have time for you later if something more important to me doesn't intervene. I felt that I was done with her at that point, I just had enough. Since then I have not felt inclined to contact her, though I still respond when she contacts me.

Saturday, she will be having a party celebrating a super-important career step she recently made. I will be attending for a short time, probably less than an hour because of her cats, which I am allergic to.

I want to show nothing but love and encouragement to her, but I'm not feeling it like I usually do for the people around me. I'm mostly feeling done with her, and unfortunately there's even some resentment of the achievement (I was deeply looking forward to that in the marriage because that removes much of the pressure from her career.) Please send encouragement that I will show enthusiasm and detached love for my ex who is pretty much out of my life at this point, for the sake of this celebration; if you're the praying kind, please pray that I will feel and convey the love of Christ.

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year to everybody that celebrates changing the numbers on the Gregorian calendar!

As an event, the Christmas bow-kissing plan did not take off, not enough advertisement I think. There were three bows in evidence including the one I was wearing.

As an evening out for me, it was pretty great. I kissed two women, both of whom told me I'm a good kisser and kept coming back for more, one of whom is a very conventionally attractive young poly woman who has lots of kissing experience. So apparently I am a good kisser, which is a lovely thing to know.

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas late to those of you that celebrate it! Was away spending the weekend with my parents and cooking for them.

Still not dead

I'm still not dead! I decided to keep from focusing on the fact that I am alone, I needed something else to focus on, some specific purpose to my existence; so I've been trying to make the people around me a little bit happier. I made potroast for the Progressive Gun Fan, who just got back surgery, and Rook. Helped a friend move, scheduled myself to give massages Saturday and Sunday. I'm trying to keep up friendships with the various women who contacted me while my OKCupid profile was still up, though I've explained that it's not going anywhere. All this has left me with even less writing time than before.

Apropos of both things, I am always at my most lonely and feeling most like a loser New Year's Eve, when I am usually surrounded by married couples kissing. Instead of finding myself a date, I thought, I can't be the only one. So, I made a suggestion in the Dorian's Parlor group on FetLife that people going to Dorian's NYE wear a red bow (like on a Christmas present) that indicates the willingness to kiss anyone who asks all evening (people with bad history excepted, e.g. bad exes and stalkers.) I will be wearing one. And I'm quite nervous that no one will take me up on it. And the fact that I'm nervous about going to a party where, perhaps, no one will kiss me makes me feel like a teen girl in an After School Special. Commander Badass would not approve. (Jared would understand, though.) At least I actually posted the idea rather than obliquely chickening out by just thinking about it until it was too late.

One of the joys of being intentionally single

Wednesday night I found one of the joys of being intentionally single. I went to a club in Philadelphia with friends which had a floor playing my favorite type of music to dance to (e.g. The Prodigy - Funky Shit). The joy was, dancing like an idiot without caring what you look like. I was not there to impress anyone, and dancing is a lot more fun if you don't give a fuck.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Hope my American readers had a happy Thanksgiving! I've got about 1 minute left to say this.

Just wanted to say I'm feeling better.

Just wanted to say I'm feeling better than before.