Thursday, December 15, 2011

Still not dead

I'm still not dead! I decided to keep from focusing on the fact that I am alone, I needed something else to focus on, some specific purpose to my existence; so I've been trying to make the people around me a little bit happier. I made potroast for the Progressive Gun Fan, who just got back surgery, and Rook. Helped a friend move, scheduled myself to give massages Saturday and Sunday. I'm trying to keep up friendships with the various women who contacted me while my OKCupid profile was still up, though I've explained that it's not going anywhere. All this has left me with even less writing time than before.

Apropos of both things, I am always at my most lonely and feeling most like a loser New Year's Eve, when I am usually surrounded by married couples kissing. Instead of finding myself a date, I thought, I can't be the only one. So, I made a suggestion in the Dorian's Parlor group on FetLife that people going to Dorian's NYE wear a red bow (like on a Christmas present) that indicates the willingness to kiss anyone who asks all evening (people with bad history excepted, e.g. bad exes and stalkers.) I will be wearing one. And I'm quite nervous that no one will take me up on it. And the fact that I'm nervous about going to a party where, perhaps, no one will kiss me makes me feel like a teen girl in an After School Special. Commander Badass would not approve. (Jared would understand, though.) At least I actually posted the idea rather than obliquely chickening out by just thinking about it until it was too late.


  1. I seriously doubt you have anything to worry about--remember, I've gotten to know you from this blog, so I know you don't have spiritual halitosis, and I've seen what eye candy you are. Yeah, you're just as likely to have more problems getting the women to leave you alone.

  2. That's very kind of you, HH! Since I don't want to be left alone that evening, it would be wonderful to have those problems. :)

  3. I can't imagine anyone turning down a chance to smooch with you. a) You're hot. b) if it's a fetish event, there will be a higher-than-average proportion of take-charge women there and c) the red ribbon will free these women of any last vestige of rejection-fear that might normally keep them from approaching.

    This ribbon idea sounds fantastic, btw. I haven't heard of such a thing before, but I wish an event would do it here! Fear of rejection and social anxiety have often kept me from approaching hot people, but if I was guaranteed a "yes", well...GAME ON. :D

  4. Thank you very much, PC! And I'm glad you like the idea!

    Dorian's is not actually a fetish event, but there is huge crossover between it and local fetish events, probably more than 50% of the attenders (which is why it has a FetLife group). So, your observation still works.

    There are a lot of people who attend but do not monitor the FetLife group, so I think I'll need to put something at the party physically, like a box of bows with an explanatory sign. I was thinking people could find out by asking someone who was wearing one, but then I remembered the shy people I'd especially like to reach are the ones who won't ask. So a sign, I think, is the way to go.