Monday, January 16, 2012


After nearly two years, generally craving sex is much more manageable for me than it was early on. But some days are worse than others. This is a bad day.

It's probably because of a combination of things; friends lent me Secretary and Shortbus to watch, pointed out the huge gap between my actual rules (no causing orgasms) and behavior (almost totally asexual), there was the ego hit from finding out the poly girl New Year's Eve had been prompted and then there was the contrary emotion when another friend (who has told me she's had a crush on me for a decade) confided she'd dreamed about me following a massage with anal sex on the massage table.

Sometimes celibacy is really tough.

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