So the woman from
here heard from "a friend" that I was in a relationship a few days ago, and send me a congratulations message at 12:30 at night. Last night she saw me in a restaurant with my girlfriend, and texted me to say she saw me come in.
This morning I got this:
Thing is... In the back of my mind I hoped someday I would measure up. I shouldn't have fooled myself on that either. I still have no clue why you bothered to make a show of "picking" me over the other two you were seeing. At least now you're not settling for someone less attractive.
I said,
I'm very sorry. I meant it at the time, and I never meant it to hurt you. I'm just shallower than I thought I was.
I hope you find someone better than me who appreciates your looks as well as your heart.
She replied,
Yeah... I should have known better than to think I was good enough in the first place, lesson learned.
I guess I don't know what to say. It was a year ago yesterday that I told her I wasn't attracted enough to her, we dated for about three months, we never had sex and I never met her kids. I feel like she must be trying to make me feel guiltier at this point. What do you think? Is there anything I can say that will make all this better instead of worse?
She's manipulating you. She's got no real goal other than to hurt you. She's hurt and lashing out. Unfortunately, there's nothing you can do. Really, you've done all you can. Yes, she's legitimately hurt, but you can't fix it.
ReplyDeleteYou could apologize again, but it won't help. Hopefully, she'll find her prince charming and realize you did her a favor by breaking it off when you figured out that you didn't value her as highly as you felt she deserved.
Thanks, Penny. That's the conclusion I've been reluctantly coming to.
DeleteYeah... You've not been going out anymore for a long, long time. You don't owe her anything. You can't help the situation, because what she is battling now is not the fact that your thing didn't work, but the fact that she thinks she is/feel she is unattractive. That's something that never was your place to make right and it definately isn't anymore. Everybody needs to face those demonds alone.
ReplyDeleteIt's probably best, if you don't answer her at all anymore. She's trying to bait something out of you and by keeping in touch you are giving her... something. Do not give her hope, where there's none - and do not give her a scapegoat either! You did nothing wrong. No one can help who their attracted to - not even her.
Thanks Rogue Bambi! I didn't reply further and haven't contacted her since; like you said I think it's probably the best I can do.
Delete