Sometimes it's so hard to swallow the need to defend yourself. Someone who we shall call Lecturer Reiki contacted me on OKCupid, despite the note on my profile that says "I've found that I am not mentally over my divorce enough to start any new romantic relationships. But, I'm leaving the rest of my profile up for later and just in case people are curious." At first, it seemed like we could be friends.
Our contacts after the first few were largely her making insulting and unwarranted assumptions about my spirituality because she's way to my left and full of prejudice, and me trying to explain how I actually felt. Very much like the Lecturer, except the Lecturer was probably more to my right (sort of; or maybe way off on my w-axis somewhere) and full of prejudice. She shall be renamed Lecturer Polygynist to distinguish her from Lecturer Reiki and future Lecturers. I think this is a pattern I should watch out for in the future and shut down sooner.
Interestingly, both of them thought they were spiritual healers and great judges of character because they were attuned to other's spiritual energy. Their wrong assumptions about me were pretty much opposite, but both really kind of hurtful.
Thank you for sharing your experience - it's always interesting to hear about the adventures of others in the online dating world!
ReplyDeleteI think these people are so not tuned into other people they cannot determine they are being hurtful - instead they just keep perceiving how wonderful and insightful they are! There's a saying 'don't run after a mad man to tell him he is mad'- so better just to shut them down. We no longer live in a village - these people are anonymous others that don't matter - we can just walk away with no harm done! That said, I always try to take the time to treat (reasonable)people I meet online with respect as if they were a neighbour in my village. :-) C