Monday, September 12, 2011

Given vs. having taken

[Edited this post because I got cranky about my ex's attitude in the original.]

Seems to me there are two general attitudes toward submission to be found out there. Either you prefer to give submission or have it taken, have it given or take it. It seems to me that the desire to have it taken is a bit more common in women and the desire to give it is a bit more common in men.

I think my attitude is rather unusual. I read a submissive once say that her submission was too valuable to be given away, it had to be earned by being taken.
Live free or die: Death is not the worst of evils. -- Major General John Stark, the Hero of Bennington
My submission is far to valuable to be taken; if you try one of us will die first. (And I don't think it will be me, but if it is that's OK.)

The paradox is that I will give (and have given) it freely, casually, and commonly to my wife. If you marry me, it is yours, that is part of the covenant between us. And another part is that your submission is likewise mine. I want us both to likewise regard yours as far to valuable to be taken; but I want you to give yours as freely, casually, and commonly as I.

This isn't to say I don't have fun playing having my submission forced sometimes, but that's play. The way I voluntarily submit to someone I love has reality behind it.



  1. Marriage is two becoming one, physically and spiritually. It is the wonder of marriage done well and the pain of marriage severed.

    Though I am forced to wonder how many people truly marry nowadays no matter what ceremonies they partake of. I'm sure too that there are times when one person desperately reaches out spiritually to someone they are convinced is their other half only to run into a wall no matter what ceremonies they do with that person.

    I consider my marriage to be one of the greatest blessings of my life(up there with our resulting children). Keep striving for a true marriage Mousie, the path to it isn't often a clear one but it is the only one truly worth taking.

  2. Odysseus, indeed, I am no longer quite meant to be alone or with anyone else but her; I will have to heal that part of me before I can be other than alone.

  3. Totally understood that, Mousie. Odysseus was only meaning don't give up on your ideals or on trying to heal. And yes, healing should come first. Lean on your friends, and lean on your pastor.

    That said, you have the same views on submission as I do. Mine is a gift. Anyone who wants to try to take it is going to have a major problem surviving. I'm a little woman: self-defense starts with lethal force, and escalates from there.

  4. When I was younger, I fantasized about physically overpowering guys and literally forcing them to do my bidding (total pipe dream since I'm not physically strong at all).

    Now I think it would be much hotter to have it offered to me - if a guy was like, "I can see that you are [emotionally] strong and I place my well-being entirely in your hands." I can't imagine receiving a higher honour than that.

    How is it, Mousie, that almost every time you preface a statement with "I know I'm weird, but..." or "I get the feeling no woman could ever find this quality attractive, but..." you end up saying something that totally touches me?

  5. Heroditus, I got what Odysseus meant and was (clumsily) agreeing and amplifying.

    It's wonderful to hear from people who have the same views on submission.

  6. PerverseCowgirl, it is because you are weird too! :D

  7. There need to be many more weird people like us in the world. It would be a much better, happier, and less screwed-up, hung-up place.