For fans of androgynous guys

Happened to come across this, sorry for the "bizarre" tag but I think the pictures are nice for fans of androgynous guys: http://xaxor.com/bizarre/male-models-looking-like-women.html#6858

Guilt

So the woman from here heard from "a friend" that I was in a relationship a few days ago, and send me a congratulations message at 12:30 at night. Last night she saw me in a restaurant with my girlfriend, and texted me to say she saw me come in. This morning I got this:

Thing is... In the back of my mind I hoped someday I would measure up. I shouldn't have fooled myself on that either. I still have no clue why you bothered to make a show of "picking" me over the other two you were seeing. At least now you're not settling for someone less attractive.

I said,

I'm very sorry. I meant it at the time, and I never meant it to hurt you. I'm just shallower than I thought I was. I hope you find someone better than me who appreciates your looks as well as your heart.

She replied,

Yeah... I should have known better than to think I was good enough in the first place, lesson learned.

I guess I don't know what to say. It was a year ago yesterday that I told her I wasn't attracted enough to her, we dated for about three months, we never had sex and I never met her kids. I feel like she must be trying to make me feel guiltier at this point. What do you think? Is there anything I can say that will make all this better instead of worse?

Dating someone

Sorry for so little posting. I'm dating someone, we really hit it off big. Our first date, we met at 6, closed down the restaurant and moved to a coffee place, closed that down and sat at one of their outdoor tables until after 2 in the morning. Our next two dates were longer, our fourth we set a curfew because we had work. I've been short of sleep almost every day for about a month now, though I'm having a great time. So there's not too much time to post. But, things are happy. One thing I noticed; my dominant side shows far more with a woman who is aggressively interested than with a woman who's more passive. My ex showed little interest and eventually only got my submissive side. With a woman who verbally invited the first kiss (on the second date) and took the initiative to grind up on me on the dance floor on the third date, my dominant side shows up a lot, which she enjoys a whole lot, as she's said clearly. Communication is awesome.

Nonverbal but unequivocal in a relationship

I had an idea for something that seems like it would be fun in a marriage or other relationship where at least one partner likes the other to take control without asking sometimes. Get a piece of jewelry that can go with almost anything, like maybe a pin, and make a verbal agreement that you'll wear it only when you want your partner to initiate or take control or take you or use you or whatever variation floats your boat. Seems like a nice compromise between the need for communication and the need for silent acquiescence that some people feel.

Keeping very busy with nice things

I'm keeping very busy with nice things.  Work, dance classes, social stuff with friends.

I've been spending a lot of time writing, because when I meet someone nice through OKCupid or something I like to try to stay friends with them even if we don't think romance is an option.  As people have been added to that list I've ended up with a bunch of emails to write daily.

No dates so far, though.  My OKC profile is pretty open and I'm a peculiar guy, definitely not for everyone, so this is unsurprising.  Also, I'm kind of picky, and intend to stay that way.

More on the Murre theme.

Saturday night, at my usual steampunk/neovictorian event (unnamed this time because it occurred to me I don't want to appear on a Google search for that), I was talking with one of the vendors for a while.  She was telling me about some performance in Boston she attended where they ripped up a Bible, with the obvious expectation I would approve.

Next morning in church I was telling my pastor how I go to a regular costume event where people wear neovictorian clothing, and he was telling me how weird I was.  But, he said, it's what makes me me, so it's OK.  Later I was arguing with one of my Christian friends about referring to a trans woman as she when she's not there to hear it, me taking the "call her what she wants" approach and him taking the "wrong genitals" approach.

Sometimes I really do feel like an alien everywhere.  As a Christian though, I should be expecting that.  In the end, this world is not my home.

To be fair, I spend most of Saturday night hanging out with two pleasant, nice, beautiful, (married,) belly dancers, one of whom is an Christian.  So that was a very nice evening, and I expect we will continue being friends in the future.  And Sunday, another of my Christian friends was agreeing with me about the use the pronoun the person referred to prefers.  I really shouldn't complain.  It just seems like there have been a whole lot of these episodes recently, like every time I go to a steampunk event.

Also a confession: Saturday night, the vendor had a cold and packed up early, but when she packed up I was enjoying myself chatting with the belly-dancers and it didn't even occur to me that I should have offered to help her schlep her stuff to her car.  It probably would have if I were feeling warmer towards her, which I would have been if not for the Bible-ripping comment.

I love this video

I love this song, and the video even more:


Sia - Clap Your Hands

Sia, unusually, does not seem to care much about coming across as pretty or sexy in her videos, which is especially noticeable in Buttons.