Rambling

The woman I sent the break-up email to turned out to have a really good reason for leaving her husband that does not leave him a good man in my opinion at all; she just hadn't wanted to talk about it. So, there's still three.

I feel like an ungrateful asshole because I'm agonizing over the fact I've got three girlfriends (all of whom know I have other girlfriends). How many guys would love to have this problem? But, it genuinely bugs me more than loneliness did.

I must be a very inefficient person. I am totally exhausted and badly short on sleep from my 8-hr-a-day job, the commute, and the dates. Saturday I'm not planning to meet anyone (except maybe my acupuncturist) or do anything (except maybe get accurately punctured), and I'm so looking forward to it.

And then there were two

Last night I sent a break-up email to one of the three women I was dating. It was the pretty one with the great body, who was very outspoken about not requiring us to wait for marriage for sex (or, for that matter, longer than we had already). Those are certainly plusses. It's nice to feel like I'm not simply being abstinent due to lack of opportunity. But she didn't feel as I do that love was something one does and makes, not something that just happens to one. She'd left a husband that she admits was a good man. And I really (really, really) do not want to go through another divorce. The other two women both strove mightily to stay with some really bad husbands, cheating and worse, and though I'm not perfect, I am certainly not a really bad guy. I think I want someone who is devoted to marriage, as I am, more than I want most things.

I probably should have called, but I hate the phone. And we've only been on four dates, not super close. Boy, I hate this part. I don't get the feeling that she'll be too hurt, thank God. But this morning my head is running through a list of all the things that were particularly good about her.

One of the other two is going to be really hurt. They both know that I'm dating other women. But they're both really into me. I'm thinking about how hurt one of them is going to be, all the time. Not really cheerful anymore.

In not really related news, here's the song that's stuck in my head:

Ferry Corsten feat Maria Nayler - We Belong (Tritonal Air Up There Remix)

Cheerful and generally not dead

I am just checking in to say things are going pretty well and I'm definitely not dead. But I'm still really short on writing time.